A Phoney Phase to a Phoney Competition – Part Two

Last week RTG highlighted the total distortion of competition within the Premier League caused by the unrestricted spending of Manchester City and Chelsea. RTG also highlighted how this distortion is putting additional financial demands on the rest of the Premiership. So much so, that promotion can now be viewed increasingly as a poisoned chalice, with financial implosion and further relegation becoming the norm for those clubs failing to maintain their premiership status beyond a season or two. As RTG writes, recently relegated Hull City is believed to be on the brink of administration following a host of other clubs whose recent history has included a period in the top flight.

RTG believes the time has come to impose financial controls on this unbridled distortion. Yes, UEFA has announced rules that impose some limited constraints, but as RTG has previously pointed out before, these are very limited and will allow the continual subsidy of clubs living beyond their means until at least the 2019/2020 season! Also, they will continue to allow the purchase of clubs via leveraged buyouts, thus waving in more Glazers, Hicks and Gillettes into the English game.

Salomon Kalou made the back pages last week by asserting that Manchester City won’t be able to buy the league title. That, coming from a player whose team has already had around £700 million of subsidies from a Russian Oligarch, says much about the hypocrisy and lunacy pervading the upper tier of English football. And there’s more to come. Since Abramovich’s subsidies, Chelsea have finished in the top two in each of his six seasons as owner, winning three titles – this for a team that had finished in the top two only once in the previous 98 years. Sorry Salomon, you really can buy the title and you can buy success. You may not be able to do it by the Real Madrid ‘Galactico’ method – which in the end is more to do with a vanity ‘fantasy league’ project, than a serious football-winning team building exercise.

People have argued that the additional billions that the game has received from oligarchs and oil sheikhs have made the Premiership a more exciting league, attracting the best talent in the world. RTG argues differently: the additional money has led to absurd transfer and player salary inflation, which has only fuelled the disparity between the rich two and the rest. Yes, Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal have been able to challenge Chelsea in recent seasons, but these challenges are fading and, arguably Manchester United, without Ronaldo, would not have been able to prevent Chelsea from winning all titles since Abramovich appeared on the scene. As it stands, with UEFA’s so called financial constraints, the title for the foreseeable future will be a contest between City and Chelsea – with the rest making up the annual fodder for these two. It will also mean a lot more clubs going into administration and ruin.

No, the time is now for the Premiership to impose unilaterally its own controls to prevent not only the massive subsidies to clubs, but the obscene leveraged buy-outs which will bring ruin to both Manchester United and Liverpool. In Liverpool’s case, it already has done. Yes, it may mean the ‘best’ talent in the world may bypass the Premiership (and arguably they are doing so already) and it may mean that the Premiership’s recent ‘domination’ (according to the pundits) of the Champions League would end in the short term, but it would make for a far better competition and safeguard the future of clubs for their supporters.

So sign up to RTG to help get a proper football competition! 

The Keeper

…still waiting for the call from City! 

If the Keeper sounds a bit distracted this week then many apologies but it’s down to this new shirt they’ve got him wearing for the new season. It itches like hell. The days when the old green cotton jersey was washed and laid out on the bed in August have long since departed. Now it’s a question of making sure he gets used to at least three different luminous coloured nylon affairs. It used to be the case that the Keeper only had to go through this unpleasant process every few years but actually it seems to be a yearly occurrence now. In fact 18 from 20 Premier League clubs have changed their first team kit again this year so why should the Keeper get off scot free? At least Arsenal and Manchester United have ‘gone green’ by claiming their new replica kits are made from recycled plastic bottles. This does not unfortunately result in the shirts being cheaper to buy for the average football supporter but from a manufacturing production viewpoint, it makes perfect sense. After quenching their raging thirst in the oppressive heat of the sweatshop, a Chinese worker will be able to throw their plastic water bottle in the skip next to their work space safe in the knowledge that it will be back in front of them in a matter of days to be hewn expertly into a Nike football shirt.

Speaking of recycling in sport, the Olympic Stadium for 2012 is the first ever that is apparently totally recyclable. It is designed so that the top tier can be removed and recycled to leave a 25,000 capacity athletics stadium. Or, as talk has it, West Ham may take it over and have their own brand new home ground ready for 2012-13 presumably at taxpayers’ expense. But this doesn’t necessarily mean the recycling doesn’t have to happen. Just think how many peek-a-boo latex bras, crotch-less skin tight knickers and synthetic rubber Rampant Rabbits David Sullivan and David Gold will manage to make out of the recycled running track when it’s ripped up. 

No opportunity for Eduardo to don the reconstituted coke bottles as he thanked his old club Arsenal and departed for Shakhtar Donetsk. The unusual part of his transfer was that he had to learn Ukrainian as part of the deal. This serves as a stark reminder to the Keeper as to why so few English players travel to foreign climes to ply their trade. In three years at Lazio, the best Gazza managed was “uno birra per favour chief” (belch), while in the same time period in Madrid, David Beckham got at best to “grassy arse” and sticking an ‘o’ on the end of any English word he knows (of which, let’s face it, there aren’t that many). The Keeper wonders how many times the phrase “yer know o” was quoted in post-match interviews to the Spanish media.

Closer to home, the saga of Liverpool football club drags on and on. After last season when it seemed that a few scribblings on the back of a fag packet were enough to prove oneself worthy of buying Portsmouth, it could take many months for prospective buyers to prove their own suitability to buy the Merseyside giant while they, in turn, carry out their own due diligence. If this proves too much of a financial strain on Gillette and Hicks it may be that they will default on their loans and Royal Bank of Scotland, effectively a state owned bank, will end up running Liverpool FC. While opposition football supporters the length and breadth of the country have, for many years, taken the piss out of Liverpool folk and their supposed reliance on benefits from the state, having their football club relying on taxpayers’ handouts is surely taking it a bit too far.