FSF Parliament – Small Steps or Large Leap Required?

RTG has always been wary of the different fan groups who campaign on various noble, but hardly radical, issues affecting modern day football. It was, therefore, with some trepidation that RTG entered Imperial College London for the Football Supporters’ Federation Parliament on 9th July. Thanks go to the FSF for good organisation of the event and for their continuing efforts on behalf of football supporters. To our surprise, there were important debates about the ownership and governance of football in addition to the long-standing pet projects such as the ‘safe standing’ campaign.

Our hopes for the day, and what might realistically be achieved from such a gathering, were dampened somewhat as we climbed the steps up into the building and overheard one of the delegates say to her colleague, ”I suppose many of this lot are all part of the prawn sandwich brigade”. RTG has always maintained that the important factor is your love of football. It doesn’t matter who you support, how often you go to games or where you come from. If you appreciate the values of sport and fair competition that the game should represent, then you should have a voice in the debate over the soul of football.

It was pleasure to hear key note speaker Andrew Jennings open the event with his talk on the history of FIFA since the 1970s. Andrew gave us a fascinating, yet disturbing, overview of how an organisation that was conceived to work for the good of, and to govern, world football, was deliberately infiltrated and manipulated by corporate interests and a few disreputable people who turned it into their own secret world of dodgy dealings, backhanders and malpractice. The sheer horror of what some of these people have done to football over the years, and what they continue to get away with, illustrates the size of the task that supporters are facing to get back control of our sport. Millions of dollars of our money are being systematically robbed from the game and portioned off to the fat cats to top up their own personal fortunes.

As stated at the beginning of this piece, RTG has been critical from our early days of the well-meaning but committee-driven organisations which tend to focus on their own pet issues without seeming to achieve much in the way of change. It was encouraging to see Andrew Jennings given a platform to spread what is an important word as well as seeing a number of other key issues raised and debated for inclusion in next years campaign. It was worrying, though, that in the session on club ownership, there were 11 points of action that were carried over from last year to be revised and amended, the majority of which had seen virtually zero positive progress in the last 12 months.

RTG has no desire to criticise the FSF - far from it. They are trying to improve the game for supporters and that should be applauded. However, the power of football supporters to change the way the game is run relies on a unified approach rather than small groups trying to fight on a number of issues that reflect purely their own agenda. There may well be a groundswell of support for safe standing but, when you consider the magnitude of the problems Andrew Jennings highlighted about FIFA, there are clearly more major issues facing the game today. When a QPR supporter raised the issue of ticket pricing, the FSF agreed to fight for a cap of £20 maximum, an issue few supporters would disagree with in principle, but that is realistically not possible. After all, who wouldn’t be for a maximum price of £1 per pint?

At one point, a frustrated Liverpool fan called Steve stood up and said the time had come for more direct action because nobody is listening to us. RTG echoes this view. Football supporters have to appreciate the power that could be wielded should we choose to use it by working together. Imagine the loss of revenue if, for one weekend, we were to boycott TV, club shops, drinks and food in the ground or even the matches themselves.

We need a simple headline issue to which we can rally supporters across the board, and even internationally, to fight for the soul of football. The FSF is doing its best to campaign on many fronts while playing within some very laudable rules but unfortunately, at the current rate of progress, your club might well be playing home games in China by the time you’re allowed to stand safely on terraces again.

While we continue to allow the TV tail to wag the football dog; accept an England team that gets further from winning any major honours; turn a blind eye to archaic officials enriching themselves at our expense; adulate overpaid, disloyal players; incentivise agents to encourage that disloyalty; sanction owners who buy our clubs with debt, while still taking money out for themselves; and tolerate incompetent governing bodies who have not updated their organisations since Victorian times; and we take no action, then we will lose the soul of football. Every day we put this off, makes it that much harder to stop.

RTG has always said we don’t have all the answers but we can join together and start the fightback. Sign up here today.

"Carry On" FIFA

As if the dubious back-room dealings in awarding the World Cups of 2018 and 2022 were not an affront to all right minded football supporters, Sepp Blatter then announced unilaterally that the 2022 World Cup may be played in the winter: thus disrupting two seasons in the professional leagues around the world and Europe in particular. Swiftly afterwards, Michel Platini, who now appears to be Sepp Blatter’s ever faithful lap dog, announced that the event may be played out in several other Gulf States. Thus two key elements of the bid process: where and when, don’t appear to have been even considered in the vote process. In RTG’s business experience, the question of timing and location are almost always the most important factors in any bid or pitch.

In Sepp Blatter’s FIFA world, what he wants, he always gets. However, if the Qatari proposal had specifically highlighted a winter timetable, they surely would not have won the bid. At best, this was an amateurish and unprofessional process. At worst, it was yet more devious skulduggery from football’s bete noir. RTG is thinking the worst. Intriguingly, the Qataris themselves have dismissed these two proposals out of hand immediately.

It would appear, though, that the latest shenanigans around the Qatari bid may be the first salvos in a bitter FIFA Presidency election battle between Mohamed Bin Hammam, the Qatari FIFA Exco member, and the present incumbent Sepp Blatter. Given that Bin Hammam has been a shady financier and backer of previous Blatter elections, even if Blatter gets his just desserts in the upcoming election, we should be very wary of someone who has been an integral player in the FIFA “carry on”. The fact that he has mentioned the word “transparency” in his opening gambit for the FIFA Presidency does not bode well.

Those of you who are familiar with Andrew Jennings’ journalistic investigations – both on the Panorama programme and especially in his eye-opening book – will recognise the Sepp Blatter modus operandi:

• say the word FIFA and “transparency” together in the same sentence many times;
• deny vehemently any wrongdoings by him or any of his colleagues;
• when forced by the weight of media pressure, buy some time by announcing a new anti-corruption initiative;
• give the initiative a terms of reference that renders it powerless and unable to do its job properly;
• make sure no significant change happens and if any wrongdoing is found, make sure any sanctions imposed are light – and don’t collect any fines.

Thus, last week, a senior German lawyer, Guenter Hirsch, resigned from the FIFA Ethics Committee citing his belief that the Committee were not interested in sorting out corruption within FIFA.

Recently ex-England manager, Graham Taylor, told the press that, following a visit to FIFA HQ in the 1990’s, he was actively encouraged by a FIFA official to set up a Swiss bank account so that he could defraud his expenses. The official told him that they were all at it and that it was normal. Clearly, the climate of corruption is well established within FIFA’s corporate culture.

It is a climate that also means that genuine supporters find it increasingly hard to attend matches at the World Cup. FIFA officials help themselves to seemingly unlimited amounts of tickets which then make their way onto the black market – and with the proceeds being deposited into secret Swiss bank accounts. When Nigerian FIFA officials were recently investigated for fraud, including tickets for the World Cup, Sepp Blatter played his trump card. He simply suspended Nigeria and all its clubs from all FIFA and African Conference competitions. Hey presto, investigation stopped.

Prior to the recent World Cup bid fiasco, many football supporters had never truly appreciated the levels of corruption that exist within FIFA. This appalling sham of a process revealed to all the atrocious levels to which Blatter and FIFA will go to ensure their lucrative supply of dirty money is maintained. The truth is they have been getting away with this for over 30 years using underhand tactics to sweep allegations under the carpet in the hope that supporters will ignore or forget. For the most part it has worked.

This year Blatter comes up for re-election as President of FIFA. This time, supporters must not forget what happened and join together to bring pressure to bear to get rid of this odious man. However, RTG believes that this on its own is not enough. The culture of corruption is too deeply ingrained within FIFA. As an organisation that runs the game across the world, it must surely be disbanded in its current form and with its current executive members.

Help us to change FIFA by signing up to Reclaim the Game

Sign Up Here To Support Reclaim the Game

World’s Football Supporters Hung, Drawn and Qatared

Ten days ago, FIFA announced that Russia was to host the 2018 World Cup and Qatar was to host the 2022 tournament. FIFA President, Sepp Blatter wanted Russia as 2018 hosts and, what Blatter wants, Blatter gets. The strange choice of Qatar is more easily understood when one considers the facts that journalist, Andrew Jennings, has unearthed about the machinations of the FIFA gravy train. Qatari FA President, Mohammed Bin Hammam, has been a long time Blatter supporter, dubiously funding Blatter’s re-election to the FIFA Presidency, as well as providing material support in the form of private jets for his election campaigning, against FIFA’s own rules.

Both of the winning bids were widely thought to be the weakest technical bids and both will require the most amounts of stadia and infrastructure building projects. Whilst the choice of Russia could easily be explained away, in typical FIFA smokescreen bull manure speak, by the old ‘spreading the game throughout the world’ adage, the choice of Qatar is just an affront to the world’s football supporters, and even more importantly, an affront to the world’s environment. Outdoor air conditioned stadia, with outdoor temperatures at 40-50 degrees centigrade, powered by solar energy – all to be dismantled after the hoopla and re-located elsewhere. Carbon footprint? Who cares? Legacy - to a population of native Qataris, who number in six figures? Ridiculous. And once again, Blatter has got away with his subterfuge.

It seems that every move by the current FIFA President is designed as yet another ruse to not only get his way, but also to provide scope for the powerful members of FIFA’s ExCo to do more deals. This time around it was the double bid process which gave more deal mileage to be claimed. It has reached the stage where RTG views FIFA so cynically, that maybe even footballing decisions, such as FIFA’s reluctance to consider technology is motivated by their own desire to have referee control of matches – and referees can be lent on.

It can’t be a coincidence that the two big oil and gas rich states amidst the bidding countries, won their bids. Equally so, bigger game politics – especially France’s courting of Qatar’s resources - played a huge part. How much, we’ll probably never know. But yet more allegations of bribery have subsequently been made, which if true, makes RTG wonder why England and others bothered in the first place. After all, England had its Prime Minister, next but one King and… wait for it… a moderately good footballer who is the darling of OK magazine, as our “three lions”. Actually, maybe our bid wasn’t so good after all.

Irrespective of the technical bid, its praised presentation and the quality of the people who represented England in schmoozing with the FIFA crooks, England were never going to win their bid. Andy Anson, Chief Executive of the England bid, admitted as much afterwards. However, the process that the bid went through legitimised FIFA and its corrupt methods by allowing us to believe that England had a chance of winning, thereby forcing our bid members to kiss the proverbial FIFA arse and criticise our own nasty free press for pointing out what a bunch of crooks they are!

It’s clear that FIFA needs to be completely done away with in its current form. FIFA was set up in the days when football was trying to fend off commercial interests and remain true to a more idealistic amateur spirit. That all changed in 1974, with the election of Joao Havelenge and his subsequent handover to his heir alter ego, Sepp Blatter. Since then, it’s been run like a mafia, involving ever increasing amounts of money and dubious goings on, protected by Swiss financial laws and with no-one daring enough to take on the corruption from within or outside of the game – with notable noble media exceptions.

It is highly unlikely that we will see a World Cup in England in the next two to three decades. England gave the world football. It might be time for England to think again how best it could lead the world in football again. As RTG has long argued before, the organisation of football in this country needs to be totally revamped to deliver a winning football team and a contribution to the nation’s health. The game in this country needs to be in a better place and yes, free from the corrupting influence of commercialism, before it could counter FIFA’s hegemony.

If we can do this, then maybe England will be in a position to challenge finally FIFA’s strangle on the game, get rid of the Blatters and Warners and deliver to the world a game which truly transcends political, secret Swiss bank accounts and commercial interests, for the whole world to enjoy.

Let us know what you think and sign up to Reclaim The Game!

The Keeper

...Riyals or Roubles anyone?

The Keeper, of course, had to focus on the disappointing result to England’s 2018 World Cup bid. England, sadly, only got two votes, one of which was our own (although we’re not even sure about that). But not to worry we can leave Zurich with our heads held high. The England bid centred on football as a sport that crosses boundaries of culture and class. A sport for all. That’s why, for the pivotal part of the presentation, we sent out the future King of England, our Old Etonian Prime Minister and a multi-million pound footballer. Three chaps who can really speak for the common man.

But, to be fair, the lads really pulled out all the stops, working into the long hours to try and rally support for Team England’s challenge. They apologised for the BBC Panorama allegations and refused to accept that it could possibly have damaged our chances, or that FIFA would take any notice of anything other than the quality of the bid on offer. They were dubbed in the press “The Three Lions”. Perhaps “Three Monkeys” might have been more appropriate. See No Evil. Hear No Evil. Speak No Evil!

But sadly England came up short. FIFA assessed each bid on merit (not oil reserves and available cash), what they could do for developing the game of football throughout the world (definitely not oil reserves and available cash) the suitability of the facilities on offer (absolutely not oil reserves and available cash), the summer temperatures (most certainly not oil reserves and available cash) and the transport infrastructure in place (without doubt not oil reserves and available cash).

The end result of course was that Russia won the bid to host 2018 and Qatar, a desert state the size of East Anglia with one stadium holding over 50,000, and summer temperatures of 50°C plus, won the bid to host 2022. The Keeper would like to pose a question of his own at this point. How much money might it take for the 2018 Winter Olympics to be held at the Milton Keynes Snow Dome, Alaska to hold the 2015 Cricket World Cup and China to host the next Tour De France?

Enjoy your sporting memories everyone.

FIFA Vote Unlikely To Be Based On Merit

Next week sees FIFA voting on the hosting of the World Cups of 2018 and 2022. Just a few days before that, BBC’s Panorama programme will be aired, which follows on from the Sunday Times expose of “cash for votes” being available from FIFA voting executives. On top of these recent allegations, new ones in the Italian press about the UEFA voting process in awarding the European Championships of 2012 to Poland/Ukraine, have now surfaced.

It could be that the Italian press is exhibiting a bit of belated ‘sour grapes’ - Italy having been originally the bid-to-beat favourite for that tournament. Now the English press could be similarly preparing the ground for the disappointment of losing out in the 2018 bid. But if you, like RTG, were aware that some impropriety had been taking place in FIFA circles for some time, but really weren’t sure of the extent and impact of them, then a little research can reveal some very disturbing facts about FIFA that threaten the very existence of football in the world.

Basically FIFA is a corrupt organisation, above the law, supportive of despots and tyrants, and totally unsuitable to be the guardians of the world’s most popular sport.

“Trust us and you will see confidence will be restored".

Sepp Blatter, FIFA President, October 2010


In RTG’s research, the best and most reliable source of information and facts can be obtained from the investigative journalist, Andrew Jennings. He is the person who is best remembered as being the target of Jack Warner’s, FIFA CONCACAF president, four letter, racist splattered invective in a BBC Panorama programme investigating the 2010 World Cup and Jack Warner’s behaviour in particular. RTG would strongly urge you to check out Mr Jennings’ work. His excellent writing and thoroughly convincing cases were amongst a whole wealth of information available on the web about FIFA and corruption, and it left RTG seething with rage.

This is the summary of the main points that RTG has learnt, but again, we would strongly urge you to do your own research and visit Andrew Jennings’ work in particular.

• Ever since the election of Joao Havelange in 1974 to the FIFA presidency, who bought the       votes of delegates funded by the Adidas corporation, almost every election and many               business decisions have been tainted by improper financial arrangements. 

• FIFA has been effectively run by commercial interests. Adidas in particular, but a host of other so called “partners” eg Coca Cola.

• The public ownership of football has been privatised via the back door and unbeknown to supporters worldwide.

• No surprise that FIFA and other sporting bodies have made their homes in Switzerland. FIFA uses Swiss law to hide salaries, bonuses, perks and expenses paid to FIFA employees. Because FIFA is a ‘non-profit sporting entity’, it is exempt from Swiss anti-corruption laws. However, any employee who finds evidence of corruption, a so called ‘whistle-blower’, can and has been prosecuted by Swiss authorities. No wonder then that Switzerland has long been such a popular haven for Nazis’ and other dictators’ lootings.

• FIFA has consistently given backing to dubious regimes. A dubious regime will quite often install a relative or other favoured courtier as head of their football association. FIFA will support that regime, both morally and fiscally, allowing further looting of that country’s coffers. In return, FIFA’s President gets that country’s vote in future for whatever he needs it for. The notorious Charles Taylor, currently on trial at the Hague for war crimes, installed his son-in-law as Liberian FA chief and he received funds from FIFA. FIFA were particularly busy in the period during the Soviet Union’s break up, when many new associations were created.

• ISL, a company formed from a spin off of Adidas, handled the marketing rights of world cups for many years (amongst other sporting tournaments). ISL collapsed which led to £100 million in losses to FIFA. A previous investigation by Panorama interviewed employees of ISL, who confirmed that the company had paid bribes to FIFA over a period of 20 years.

• The allegations led to some FIFA officials returning money. Others refused and FIFA repaid some money in a secret deal.

• Swiss authorities did investigate ISL between 2005 and 2010. They uncovered $143 million in kick-backs, some connected to FIFA. Proceedings were settled with compensation payments from accused parties without any admission of guilt.

• The company that took over the marketing rights from ISL, Infront, is run by…the nephew of Sepp Blatter!

• Anybody within FIFA who identifies any wrong doing is ostracised and subsequently ousted. In 2002, for example, Michel Zen-Ruffinen, ex-FIFA General Secretary, completed a dossier into financial mismanagement within FIFA. He was immediately sacked. An internal investigation committee by FIFA was stopped by Sepp Blatter, because members broke “confidentiality agreements”.

• When a financial impropriety is identified and highlighted, FIFA’s own Ethics Committee, which has no real authority, is usually given a very limited brief and scope for investigation. Indeed, the UK’s own Sebastian Coe resigned from it, presumably because he realised that it was a vehicle for ‘white washing’ misdemeanours.

• When FIFA’s own auditors revealed that Jack Warner profited by nearly £1 million from ticket re-sales for the 2006 World Cup, they bowed to media pressure and announced that he was to be fined and banned from dealing in tickets in future. Sepp Blatter, a close ally, defended Warner by saying that he wasn’t really responsible because the sales were done through Warner’s son Daryan. Apparently, FIFA insiders claim that the fine, like many others imposed on FIFA officials, will never be paid. Because of Swiss secrecy laws, we’ll never know.

“It could not be evidenced that Mr. Jack Warner had knowledge of the resale of these tickets at a higher price. The resale is certainly forbidden, but the person who did the re-selling is not subject to the FIFA jurisdiction, because it is the son of Jack Warner." 

Sepp Blatter, FIFA President, December 2006


• If any FIFA official is investigated by their own country’s authorities, FIFA quickly threatens to ban that country from international competition. This is exactly what happened to Nigeria following the last World Cup. This makes FIFA officials above the law in individual countries – after all, which politician is going to risk the wrath of his/her own people by getting their country isolated from competition?

• You can see the effect of FIFA’s influence here in England where many media commentators have accused the BBC of being unpatriotic because it continues to highlight the stench of corruption within FIFA – supposedly to the detriment of England’s 2018 bid.

• You can also draw inferences of the type of organisation that FIFA is through their employment of a PR agency to cloud issues and help sweep them under the carpet. This agency includes Union Carbide (of Bhopal disaster infamy) and sanction busting oil companies from the apartheid era amongst its clients.

The above are just some of the highlights of what RTG has learnt. As stated earlier, we ask you to do your own research for evidence, with particular reference to Andrew Jennings. But what can be done about it?

Originally, RTG felt that it would take a US senate style political investigation, perhaps by the UN: after all, it was a Senate Investigation Committee which pursued the IOC over the voting scandal involved in awarding the winter Olympics to Salt Lake City. However, following a lot of good words and angered sentiment being expressed, and some good senatorial suggestions, nothing has really changed.

And that’s the thing: politicians appear reluctant to push through reforms at the risk of alienating their own constituents. They have other pressing issues at the moment and, in the UK’s case (and indeed other countries), wouldn’t that be the pot calling the kettle black?

Let us know what you think and sign up to Reclaim The Game!

Now for a bit of humour from The Keeper

The Keeper

....always plays to the whistle

The Keeper wishes to express his full support for Harry Redknapp and his stance against the FA. Harry said he would refuse to do any post-match interviews for the TV if they fined him for his comments regarding Mark Clattenburg following the Spurs v Man United game. The Keeper was all for it if not only because it would have made a welcome change on Match of the Day not to see shifty old Harry twitching away and looking sideways rather than at the interviewer. His more dignified number two, Joe Jordan, would have made a welcome alternative….

…hmm…then again the Keeper was always a big Harry fan.

Far more pleasing on the eye than either Jordan or Redknapp is Linda Pizzuti (31), the new darling of the Kop, and wife of new owner John Henry (61). She has endeared herself to the Liverpool faithful by learning to tweet their songs. When Liverpool came back from the brink against Napoli last week she was seen to tweet, “You’re not singing anymore”. Delighted to see her embracing English football culture in this way, and keen to know more about their new advocate, the Kop faithful were straight back on the tweet with a host of questions. “Hi Linda, who’s your favourite player?” “Linda, great song. What others do you know?” “Linda, you seem like a great girl. What first attracted you to ageing billionaire John Henry?”

Talking of events over the pond, LA Galaxy reached their conference’s play-off final. Or rather, according to the media over here, they were “led” to the final by David Beckham. What Becks actually did was to simply take a corner that led to a goal and some might say that Galaxy skipper, Landon Donovan, could be more accurately described as having led them to victory. But in the world that is the Beckhams and the media in England, that doesn’t necessarily apply. All he has to do is fart and the English media would bottle it up as Eau de Beckham and sell it.

Perhaps most shocking of all last week were revelations about Arsène Wenger having an affair with a blonde French singer over 20 years his junior. The Keeper was hoping that this shocking exposé would lay to rest once and for all those disgusting paedophile songs that some opposing fans sing at The Emirates. That was until it turned out he’d been seeing her for the last 25 years!

A Week to Wonder: What's Happening?

Football endured a tempestuous time this week including arrests on suspicion of corruption in the game, more bribery rumours/allegations and controversial issues which have been discussed and illustrated in previous posts by RTG. However you look at events this week, it is hard not to feel like the game is moving further away than ever from what supporters would call ‘reality’.

The England manager’s job appears to be turning into a PR fest, not helped by the FA’s appalling handling of the process last time around. As usual, the FA appear not to be doing anything. However, perhaps we are being unfair as RTG has no idea on the workings of the committees of the sub-committees and various points of order (Mr Chairman).

Candidates and their agents are professing not to be interested, then very interested, all within the space of 24 hours. Today’s papers have Jose Mourinho still saying, "come and get me" and "here’s my plan", while others claim he is waiting for a big club job and is using the England job as leverage in other discussions. However, due to the ponderous processes that the FA appears to operate under, it may be that, as the most ‘popular’ choice, Mourinho may well be bagged by someone else. After all, with the transfer window coming up, it would seem logical that a man of his ability would be snapped up by a leading European team. AC Milan for one!

One of the names being touted to succeed McClaren, Harry Redknapp was one of those arrested and released on bail this week. Presumably this is as an initial result of the recent Stevens inquiry and it is rumoured that more arrests will follow. This at least answers the question RTG posted some weeks ago as to what had actually happened here. How long will we wait for the next events to unfold regarding this matter? Possibly too long for Redknapp to ever be considered for the job (if indeed he ever was a serious candidate). The threat of more arrests may be impacting the selection process already.

The undue haste with which the FA despatched Steve McClaren’s P45 would seem to suggest that they had a ‘plan’ in place, wouldn’t it? It does not look like it, at the moment. What makes RTG worried is that, once again, we will end up with nothing more than a compromise candidate chosen by a combination of media pundits, ill-informed xenophobes and an FA under financial pressure. Don’t book your flights for South Africa 2010 just yet either.

Reclaim the Game – The Weekend’s Events

• More controversy involving referees at the weekend saw Phil Dowd (again) apparently refer to the fourth official – Uriah Rennie (well it would be wouldn’t it) – and presumably the TV feed, in sending off Robbie Keane. Aside from the hilarity of listening to Andy Gray trying to lip read what Mr Dowd was saying, it has, once again, clouded the issue of video evidence. Let’s hope the FA don’t punish an irate manager as he berates a fourth official into looking at the evidence of a dubious decision. The use of video evidence seems to have come in through the back door (remember Zidane’s sending off in the World Cup final). The only real reason this was especially highlighted yesterday was because the video evidence appeared to prove the officials got the decision wrong, or at least was still inconclusive. Which all just shows what RTG has long thought: the controversial decisions won’t go away just because technology is at hand; it will just shift into a more technical arena. But, the referees will not be in charge of the game.

• UEFA are investigating certain European matches (as yet undisclosed), thought to be Champions League and UEFA Cup qualifiers, for match fixing involving an Asian betting syndicate. Michel Platini is taking a hands-on approach and RTG awaits the outcome in his first major test as UEFA’s president. RTG was somewhat amused when parts of the media implied that some of Croatia’s Euro 2008 qualifiers were involved and that this might give a back door entry for England. This desperate wishful thinking might have more to do with pundit contracts being lost and drink-fuelled jollies to Austria and Switzerland having to be put on hold. No doubt the BBC will still find the budget to send Chris Hollins and Nicky Campbell to bake cakes, wear lederhosen and interview drunk fans in the street.

• Speaking of all things Euro 2008, the draw was held yesterday for the group stages of the tournament. It seems like it is of a better standard, and harder to win than the World Cup, so why spoil the potential of the tournament by allowing the draw to put three of the best teams in the same group. No disrespect to Romania intended. The draw was made a farce by the need to accommodate the two hosts as number one seeds. Clearly a stupid situation and why we should only have a single host for tournaments. It might be argued that this is the only way some countries will get to host such an event but, with only two venues above 32,000 capacity, these two should not have been awarded it in the first place. Look, if Mexico, a third world country, can successfully host a world cup with large venues, then rich nations like these should be able to make more of an investment in what is the second largest international tournament in the world.

• Aaaahh, the romance of the third round of the Famous FA Eon Cup™. The draw was held yesterday amid the usual anticipation of ‘David v Goliath’ and ‘a money-spinning tie’ for the minnows. Amazingly, Manchester Utd drew Aston Villa in the third round for the fourth time in seven years. What seems to have been missed is that, had United not pulled out of the 2000 competition, it would have been five in eight as the so-called ‘lucky losers’, Darlington (who replaced United in the draw) drew guess who? Statistically this seems highly improbable as well as a real bummer for Villa fans.
  
  Hats Off, Take a Bow! (or not).

Player of the week: Fernando Torres - playing sublimely and so surreal like, that you might just believe that Liverpool will break their 18 year taboo of winning the English league.

Villain of the week: all those that believe in video evidence - No! It's not going to work. It won't until we get 'feel around' - or is it 'sense around'?

Heroes of the week: FC Stuttgart Team and Supporters. Everybody in the UK paid scorn on their lap of honour when they picked up their only points in the Champions League. They gave it as a thankyou to their fans who had supported them (a full stadium, when they were already out of the competition). Treated cynically by the British press, yet a heart felt gesture.

Shock of the week: the Arrests! Without judging already, RTG really didn't believe any action would be taken from the Stevens Inquiry. Let's hope, however, that guilty parties are taken down and for those not found out, that this is a warning.

Cliche of the week: "I am interested, I am not interested" - in the England job, of course.